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We are all being pigeonholed faster than parcels at a post office and we love it. We pigeonhole each other constantly, and flock to the bars, clubs, new Christian Louboutin shops and restaurants where we will find birds with our own particular feathers. The funny thing is that the cult of the individual has never been so strong. As Calvin Klein says "Just be", but then, he's just catering to Fashion Girl and the Hoxton Bohos. By Cayte Williams
Wears: White Van Man never tucks his shirts in. His Ben Shermans flow freely over his Versace stonewashed jeans. He loves rip-off Ralph Lauren T-shirts and white Reebok Classics. Although White Van Man loves Michael Bolton, you'll never catch him with a mullet. It's always a short number two hairdo for (...) Habitat: Well-heeled White Van Man lives in a detached new house in a Hertfordshire new town. White Van Man loves Stevenage. He loves fitted carpets, heated towel rails, fitted kitchens with fake wood panelling with names like "Tudor glory".
Hangouts: McDonald's with his kids. Any themed pub. He'll cause havoc on the M25 for a session in Chelsea Football Club's Shed Bar. Hits The Hard Rock Cafe on his birthday. He's never seen out with the wife unless he's shopping in Iceland.
Music: He loves his music like he drives his van - in the middle of the road. Has back catalogues by Jon Bon Jovi, Michael Bolton and Eric Clapton on CD.
Job: Van driver, builder, plumber, delivery man.
Posture: Has "Popeye arm" from constantly leaning out of said white van and shaking his fist at fellow travellers. Luckily, he can often be avoided as his Paco Rabanne aftershave precedes Louboutin.
Wears: Wallabees Man gets his name from the classic casual shoe from Clarks which looks like a Cornish pasty. Which means that Wallabees Man's face matches his (...) . Wallabees were once the favourite of history teachers but are now cool. Kangol hats pulled right down over his eyes, canvas jackets, Diesel jeans.
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